In a dog pack, the pack leaders (each pack has a dominant "pair") control all the resources, It is the pack leaders who eat first, when they've eaten their fill the subordinate pack members are allowed to eat. It is the pack leaders who initiate interaction with other pack members, subordinate pack members are not allowed to solicit attention from the pack leaders. It is the pack leaders who are entitled to the best resting places and the best sleeping places, subordinate pack members must cede those places to the pack leaders. It is the pack leaders who control the toys, and it is they who intiate games. It is the pack leaders who establish the hunting territory, when the pack should go hunting, and it is they who lead the hunt.
By controlling the resources, you establish your leadership in a non-confrontational manner that is clear and easy for your dog to understand. The resources are:
Your dog should not have 24/7 access to food, he needs to know that his food comes from you. He should get two meals a day. (Some dogs do well with one feeding a day, others do better with two. Depending on age, puppies need 3 or 4 meals a day. Some very small dogs need 3 meals a day.) Feed your dog's meal after you eat your own. Eat breakfast, then give your dog breakfast. Eat dinner or a small snack (even just a couple of saltines), then give your dog dinner. Put the dish down, wait 15 minutes, then pick it up. If your dog hasn't eaten the entire meal, do not give him any food or treats (except small training treats) until the next meal. Again, put the dish down, wait 15 minutes, then pick it up.
This accomplishes a number of things. First, it establishes that the food comes from you. Second, it allows you to know exactly how much food your dog is eating so you can maintain him at a healthy weight. Third, it will prevent your dog from becoming a fussy eater. Finally, it lets you know if your dog is not feeling well. If a dog skips one meal it might just be that he's not hungry, or he was eating grass outside and his tummy's a little off. If a dog skips two meals, it's time to start looking for other signs of illness like fever, lethargy, loose stool, etc. After the third skipped meal, it's time to take your dog to the vet.
The exception to the "third skipped meal = vet visit" rule is during a new dog's first few days in your home. Unless we tell you otherwise, your new dog has had a meal in his foster home the day he comes to you and does not need to be fed until the following day. He may have a treat for going into his kennel, or for pottying outside, but he does not need a meal. Dogs won't eat when they're stressed and many dogs won't eat for the first 24 and sometimes 48 hours in a new home. They just need time to settle in a little and begin to relax. Dogs will not willingly starve themselves, they will eventually eat. Make sure that he has access to fresh water, and just wait it out.
This is pretty simple. All interactions between you and the dog should be initiated by you. If you want to pet your dog, call him over to you - do not go to him. If he solicits attention from you (nuzzling your hand, leaning against you, jumping up on you) either ignore him until he gives up and goes away and then call him over to you and pet him, or make him "work" before you pet him by asking him to Sit, or Down, or do a trick you've taught him.
If your dog puts his feet on you, simply ignore him until all 4 feet are on the floor, then acknowledge him immediately. If he knows Sit, have him sit before you pet/praise him. If your dog has been able to get attention in the past by putting his feet up on people, he's going to wonder why it's not working any more and he may jump higher/harder/longer at first, until he realizes that jumping doesn't get him what he wants (your attention) but keeping all four feet on the floor does. This is called an "extinction burst" and if you just perservere and don't reward the unwanted behavior (jumping for attention) with any attention whatsoever (even negative attention is rewarding), the jumping will begin to taper off and will eventually "go extinct".
As pack leader(s), you are entitled to the best resting spots. When you walk into the room make your dog get up from wherever he's resting. You might not think that puddle of sunshine on the floor would be a good spot to sit and relax, but your dog does. As a subordinate pack member he should cede that spot to you in case you want it. If you're going to allow him on the furniture that's OK, but make him get down so you can have the spot where he was resting just in case you want to sit there (even if you don't want to sit there). If your dog is curled up on the sofa do not sit down next to him. Doing so tells the dog "gee, thanks for sharing your sofa with me." Make him get down, sit down yourself, then invite him back up onto your sofa if you like. If your little dog jumps up in your lap uninvited make him get back on the floor and sit, then invite him back up.
Even if you eventually plan to allow your dog to sleep in bed with you, he should not be allowed to do so at the beginning of your relationship. In general, until your dog has attained the level of obedience and behavior you want from him, he should not sleep on the bed. He should sleep in a crate, on a dog bed, or even on a blanket on the floor, preferably in your bedroom so he can hear you breathing and be reassured if he wakes during the night. When you DO allow him into the bed, he should only come up there after being invited. Make him sit (on the floor), then invite him up. The bed is the seat of power, and by allowing your dog free access to your bed you give away your authority as leader. Once he is allowed on the bed, if you're having problems with obedience or behavior he should lose his "bed privileges" until you get the problem ironed out.
Play sessions should only be initiated by you. You get the toy out, you start the game, the game is played by your rules, you decide when the game ends, and you end the game with the toy in your possession. If your dog grabs a toy and brings it to you, make him do a Sit/Stay or Down/Stay and then begin the game. End the game with you in possession of the toy.
When you put your dog on a leash and go out the door, you go first and make him follow you through he door. Don't let your dog precede you through interior doorways, or brush past you in the doorway to get through first. Just use your body/leg to block him, so he follows you through. Teach your dog to Sit/Wait at the door before you let him out into the yard. (See Basic Commands for how to teach this.) Every time you allow your dog out, put him in a Sit/Wait at the door, open it, take a step out, and have a good long look around your yard. When you've determined there's nothing out there that you want, release your dog and allow him to go out. (Get rid of the doggie door!) Make him Sit/Wait before jumping into the car, and Sit/Wait before jumping out. If you've got a dog that patrols your fenceline, put him in a Sit/Stay just outside the door, where he can watch you as you walk the entire perimeter of the yard before you release him to go out in it.